finding new life after the death of my son front cover mark bodnarczuk
RELEASE DATE: October 15, 2024

Finding New Life After the Death of My Son - Coming Soon

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This heart wrenching memoir begins just hours into a bereaved father’s journey as he mourns the tragic death of his teenage son. Bodnarczuk shares the intimate details of his grief, inviting us into his moments of anguish, confusion, forgiveness, hope, and transformation. This deeply honest account illustrates that the more personally a story is told, the more universally it resonates. Mark provides wisdom and resources to help all of us navigate the complexities of our unique journey. His profound insights about faith and doubt, psychology and theology, mystery and paradox challenge all of us to be more curious and alert to ourselves, God, and the people around us. Be prepared to have your heart softened, your mind stretched, and your soul awakened.

Rev. Jane Filkin, Director of Leadership Development & Spiritual Formation, The Campolo Center for Ministry of Eastern University.

 

 

 

 

"A dauntless memoir about leaning into life after grief, Finding New Life after the Death of My Son is moving in its examinations of life, death, and faith."
Foreword Magazine, Clarion Reviews
“Bodnarczuk writes with touching precision… As he stares down the hardest questions of all—why?—the pages pulse with a real spiritual struggle, described with rare frankness and clarity, worked through by a thinker who never professes to have all of the answers but whose hard-won insights, in the end, will offer comfort to other believers facing losses that might seem unendurable."
Publisher’s Weekly, BookLife Reviews
Finding New Life After the Death of My Son, is a story of anguish, confusion, and the struggle to find meaning in a world that seems irrevocably altered. Yet, amidst the pain, Bodnarczuk illuminates the transformative power of love, resilience, and hope, inspiring us with his courage
Midwest Book Review

This heart-wrenching memoir begins just hours into a bereaved father’s journey as he mourns the tragic death of his teenage son. Bodnarczuk shares the intimate details of his grief, inviting us into his moments of anguish, confusion, forgiveness, hope, and transformation. This deeply honest account illustrates that the more personally a story is told, the more universally it resonates. Mark provides wisdom and resources to help all of us navigate the complexities of our unique journey. His profound insights about faith and doubt, psychology and theology, mystery and paradox challenge all of us to be more curious and alert to ourselves, God, and the people around us. Be prepared to have your heart softened, your mind stretched, and your soul awakened.

Reverend Jane Filkin, director of Leadership Development & Spiritual Formation, the Campolo Center for Ministry of Eastern University

There is no burden like the burden a parent carries, and there is no hurt like the searing pain of a parent who loses a beloved child.  It is strange that we have words like 'orphan' and 'widower' for those who lose a parent or a spouse, but there is no word for those who suffer what has been called 'the unspeakable loss.'  Mark Bodnarczuk puts words to it, that can help and accompany and provoke and counsel those who have suffered that loss or walk alongside others that do.  He is deeply informed by the writings of Scripture, and the work of Carl Jung, as well as by an active and widely-read mind.  He is also remarkably open about the loss and torment and slowly-forming hope that are a part of such loss; the (perhaps always partly formed) knowledge that one has survived the loss of one's child.  This is also a story of profound faith, which does not know or claim all the answers but knows somehow that letting go is not the answer.  It is a pre-emptive answer to any who are tempted to say to the problem of sufferers, "Why don't you just get over it?" It is a story of remarkable forgiveness, not least of all the forgiveness of the man who sold the fentanyl-laced substance that took the life of the beloved son. It is the journey from what Mark called the "Grieving me" to the "Grieving-and-Rejoicing me"; a world where the man of sorrows is the same who lived so that 'my joy might be in you.' This is a deeply human, deeply sorrowful, deeply-layered, deeply spiritual book which will be a pain-accompanying gift to any who read.

John Ortberg, M.Div., Ph.D., and author, Soul Keeping and Faith & Doubt

As a grieving father, Mark Bodnarczuk invites us to follow his psychologically profound journey down to the depths of despair and then back up to a new sense of life’s return and transformation. Following his son, Thomas’s, death from fentanyl poisoning, Mark has been challenged in every wayemotionally, relationally, and at his deepest core, psychologically and spiritually. We are privileged to experience a Dante-like journey down to the deepest levels of the psyche, through Mark’s eyes. He beautifully blends the world of dream interpretation and Jungian individuation with his deep Christian faith, and we see the mystery of his son’s life and death unfold on the path he walks. Mark’s commitment to face his grief fearlessly, his commitment to his son, and his faith carry him on what at times seems like an impossible journey of doubt and sorrow. This is a book that challenges its reader, and if we take up the challenge, our reward is the message of an enduring truth, which we, like Mark, may carry into the world. Thank you for this gem, Mark Bodnarczuk.

Lara Newton, Jungian analyst; president, C. G. Jung Institute of Colorado; founding director of training, C. G. Jung Institute of Colorado; and author, Brothers and Sisters: Discovering the Psychology of Companionship

This book is a fearless exploration of a father's road to grieve, accept and ultimately forgive the loss of his son. Told with searing honesty, Mark Bodnarczuk lets the reader inside his mind and heart as he stumbles ahead after finding his son, Thomas, dead from fentanyl poisoning. Through a dysfunctional court process, an attempt to integrate his inner and outer journey, and the pain of an unfathomable loss, the author forgives the perpetrator who killed his son, and reestablishes a meaningful life with his wife. Finding New Life After the Death of My Son demonstrates the healing power that forgiveness can have even in life’s most challenging situations.

Fred Luskin, Ph.D., cofounder and director of the Stanford University Forgiveness Project, and author Forgive for Good, and Forgive for Love

Finding New Life After the Death of My Son is a beautifully written, deeply thoughtful, honest and wise account of Mark Bodnarczuk’s journey through the depths of despair and his emergence into new life. As Mark writes, “The bad news was that Thomas’s sudden and tragic death pulled me down into a personal hell that is difficult, if not impossible, for a person who has never lost a child to understand. The good news is I did not return from that hell empty-handed.” Through the power of a deeply held Christian faith, close attention to dreams, and the healing grace of relationships and love, Mark and his wife Elin slowly construct a new normal. They do “the hard work of processing grief rather than compartmentalizing it,” including meeting and forgiving the young man who sold their son Thomas the counterfeit fentanyl-laced pill that killed him. Ultimately, Mark is able to say, “...I am not lost. I am on the path I’ve been called to walk.” For parents who have experienced the death of a child, this book will provide a companion to walk by their side, and for all readers, it will inspire a deeper reverence for life. This is a remarkable book.

Nisha Zenoff, Ph.D., and author The Unspeakable Loss: How Do You Live After a Child Dies?

In Finding New Life, Bodnarczuk describes his life as a journey of faith along an Inner and Outer Labyrinth that has been shaped and defined by two books. The first book is the Bible, which reveals the nature and character of God and the nature and character of human beings. The second book contains more than twenty-five hundred dreams he has recorded and analyzed over a forty-year period. From the trauma of finding Thomas’s lifeless body through the writing of this book, Mark’s faith sustained him… This remembrance of a young man who died two weeks short of his nineteenth birthday is a gift from two loving parents to all of us who will experience loss—in other words, to all of us.

Philip Yancey, author, What’s So Amazing about Grace and Where the Light Fell

As a parent who lost my son to fentanyl, Mark Bodnarczuk’s new book, Finding New Life After the Death of My Son, is directly relevant to me on many levels. Anyone looking to explore the experience of rebuilding one’s life after a devastating eventwhich is everyone, ultimatelywill benefit from reading this book. Finding New Life is both deeply intellectual and readily accessible, as Mark presents his innermost reflections in the context of the events surrounding Thomas’s sudden and tragic death. The takeaway is simple and applies to us all: life is a series of obstacles, and some of them have the potential to destroy us. We must embrace life’s challenges and help each other carry the crosses we are destined to bear.

Ed Ternan, president, Song for Charlie

Joan Didion once wrote, “Grief turns out to be a place none of us know until we reach it.” With indelible sincerity and penetrating detail, Finding New Life after the Death of My Son explores the traumatic crevices and sacred peaks of this mountainous terrain of bereavement, giving readers an unvarnished glimpse into the excruciating experience of losing one’s child. Exploring both the pedestrian events of everyday life and the beatific moments of enlightenment, Mark Bodnarczuk paints a vibrant portrait showing that hope, healing, and self-growth can be found even in a world marred by death, destruction, and the devastating carnage generated by the age of counterfeit pills and fentanyl poisoning. At the same time, this memoir also dares readers to rethink their own perspectives regarding not only the universal experience of loss but also the radical power of forgiveness and the immense meaning of their dreams. Some books you page through, and others you read; this memoir is one you’ll wrestle with in the best way possible.

Blake A. Jurgens, PhD, MDiv; chief editor, Great Lakes Editing Services

‘Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.’ Bodnarczuk reflects Kierkegaard’s wisdom, inviting the reader into his labyrinthine memoir. This book will break your heart wide open, and it reveals a much-needed battle against fentanyl poisoning. It is a love story, it is a tragedy, it is raw, brutal at times, and honest. Bodnarczuk reflects on decades of recorded dreams and opens his soul, reflecting on every parent’s worst nightmare. Readers will feel the author’s anger, despair, love, and hopeall at the same timein this very human and exceedingly holy reflection. It is filled with “thin places” where heaven and earth are pinched closely together. Be cautious, reader; this memoir will change your life.

Reverend Garrett Struessel, senior pastor, First Evangelical Lutheran Church, Longmont, Colorado

There are hundreds of books written by bereaved parents who describe the unspeakable horror that strikes the heart of a parent when they discover their child has died.  This book is differentit stands alone. After forty years of walking with God and documenting and studying his dreams, Mark Bodnarczuk, much like the biblical dreamer “Joseph,” takes us into his private world as he shares his faith and his grief about the death of his son, Thomas. Bereaved parents around the world will find this volume helpful as they search for meaning and a path forward while mourning the death of their child.

Reverend Dennis Apple, connection and care pastor, Church of the Resurrection, and author, Life after the Death of My Son

Mark Bodnarczuk has written a deeply personal memoir that has universal importance. What we hear in the news of cartels pushing lethal doses of fentanyl hidden in counterfeit pills seems far away from our daily lives. Yet it came crushingly close to Mark and his wife, Elin, on May 2, 2021. Their eighteen-year-old son fell prey to such a counterfeit pill. The bright light, a sensitive and loving person, gone. What do we do when the unthinkable happens? This book does not deny the horror of such a death. With love, intelligence, and faith, it holds open true hope for NEW LIFE.

Reverend Gary Stratman, Chaplin, The Manor at Elfindale

I took this book very personally. I knew Thomas and loved him. I shared holidays, dinners, and regular gatherings as a part of the Bodnarczuk family, talking with Thomas about school, church, and things that were important in his life. I was one of the first people Mark talked to, just days after he found Thomas dead in his room. Now, as I read this memoir, I’m amazed at how Mark describes the journey of grief, pain, and suffering he’s been on. It’s a story of how one survives the unthinkable and finds new life and hope in the wake of a tragedy that would have destroyed others.

Marshall Yancey, Philip Yancey’s brother

Mark Bodnarczuk’s Finding New Life After the Death of My Son is not a book just for parents or people who have lost a loved one.  It is not just a book about grief.  Rather, it plunges into the depths of the human-experience, giving an almost real-time accounting of Bodnarczuk’s inner state and wrestling with the tragedy of his son’s death.  But he doesn’t leave us in that place. He honestly shares what real forgiveness looks like and the legal, relational, and spiritual journey that he took to get there. The book also has a social and public purpose. It addresses the ongoing fentanyl crisis in the United States and dispels myths, pushes on public policy, and invites readers to consider this issue as well. In the end, Bodnarczuk is not just a grieving dad, but he is a complex human, a “man in full”, who is dealing with the worst of human experience, yet holding out hope, even when he doesn’t know what to do.  In the final portion (Section Three), the book turns to the rich resources of faith as part of the journey of loss and healing. I highly recommend this book and hope that those who read it will join me in finding new strength for the living of our days, just as the author and his wife have done.

The Rev. Dr. David Waterwulder, Pastor and Head of Staff, Presbyterian Church of Los Gatos

This book chronicles the journey that Mark Bodnarczuk and his wife, Elin, have been on since the death of their beloved son, Thomas, from fentanyl poisoning. Reading it enabled me to actually experience their pain, anguish, suffering, and healing since Thomas’s passing. Mark’s description of their lives after Thomas’s death gives witness to the devasting impact that the sudden loss of a young life has on a family. Bodnarczuk shares how his deeply held religious faith and spirituality guided him through the darkest moments of his life. His intellectual search for meaning led him to the transformational power of forgiveness as the catalyst for embracing a fresh start in life. Finding New Life After the Death of My Son is dedicated to keeping Thomas’s memory alive and as a meaningful step toward addressing the epidemic of fentanyl poisonings.

Michael Brandt, Ph.D., Deputy Director for Operations and Chief Operating Officer, Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory